terkadang gue suka malu kalo lagi jalan bareng ortu. bukan karena ortu gue malu-maluin atau jelek, sama sekali bukan. malu kalau ketemu temen. kalo ketemu pasti nanya “kakak kamu mana dhir?” gue mau bilang apa? dan begonya gue bilang aja, “lagi maen basket”. dia nanya lagi, “malem-malem gini?” ya gue jawab, ” yaa.. mungkin ama temen lah.”

ya ampun, gue selama ini ngebohong, cuma kalo gue jujur gue takut, gue takut kalo ada  yang cerita bikin gue jadi nangis, nangisnya ga bakal berhenti. gue selama ini takut sama hal itu. jadi selama ini juga gue bikin kakak gue serasa hidup lagi. biar gue dilihat sama orang-orang gue tuh punya hidup yang sempurna. tapi gue rapuh di dalam.. gue ini cuma orang yang butuh sesorang yang bisa ngertiin gue.. cuma gue ngerasa temen gue ini belum bisa ngertiin gue dengan baik. that made me have been a mess. suck life.

that was the last time you talked to me

you told me not to disturb you again

but, I won’t

yeah, I won’t disturb you anymore

you were just a little boy whom I loved

and I need you right now

could you say goodbye for the last time..

before you left me behind with your anger memories?

yes, I know

your memories always keep inside my heart

but, it hurts me

sometimes it burns me into slices of bleeding heart

it won’t stop bleeding

until you really disappear from this earth

and you left all your memories behind me

and everything will be okay

yeah, everything will be okay

with your memories haunting me in every night.